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Naked girl on cover = shit record? (at least most) nsfw
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GoldenBull



Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 7516

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:25 pm    Post subject: Naked girl on cover = shit record? (at least most) nsfw Reply with quote

I have a theory that bands who put naked women on LP covers are trying to blind buyers to shitty music. I can think of a couple random exceptions (Witchfinder General, Necromantia/Varathron, probably some others) but 99% of all the metal I've heard from a band with tits on the cover was horseshit.

Discuss.

Edit: added a tag so working metalheads can safely avoid...


Last edited by GoldenBull on Tue Feb 03, 2015 7:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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gravesnatcher



Joined: 23 Jun 2007
Posts: 733
Location: DIABLO

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

we talking real tits or cartoon tits?

NUNS HAVE NO TITS
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Cargonaut



Joined: 28 Jun 2010
Posts: 71

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What aboult Virgin Killer?
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Rolex



Joined: 08 Mar 2009
Posts: 1136

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha! That is something that crossed my mind last week as well. What can one say? Sex sells, they might think....anyway, tits belong in my bed not on my turntable.
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Kapalika



Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 2491
Location: Germoney

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Debatable, let me present this evidence:



...and every other Dead recording.

On the other hand, your theory is spot on when if comes to Cradle of Filth shirts, later Atrocity albums... hm... ok, letīs change the percentage of the suck/rule ratio.
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GoldenBull



Joined: 10 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah naked chicks are fine to look at, but...

Oh and if there is a pussy on the cover, then it is almost always a totally unnecessary release. Sabbat are a good band but you never hear anybody saying "Oh man if you've never heard Japanese black metal you have GOTTA get African Harmageddon...."
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Loki



Joined: 28 Sep 2010
Posts: 273

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are you thinking about Marduk "Fuck me Jesus" or Bloodhammer? Very Happy
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blodhemn9



Joined: 12 Aug 2009
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Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Abigail are also an exception to this rule.

But you are totally right that in general this shit sucks. I think we could narrow it down to albums that have those slick/pro/photoshop/power metal look with tits are always bad.
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God Slayer



Joined: 24 Feb 2009
Posts: 1337

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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gilamonster



Joined: 11 Mar 2010
Posts: 47

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

blodhemn9 wrote:
Abigail are also an exception to this rule.

Hear hear! Abigail demolish this rule.
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global deathrape



Joined: 28 May 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Son of Satan



Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Posts: 2039

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

GoldenBull wrote:
African Harmageddon...."


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

The band doesn't intend for those records to be your first exposure to them its for long time fans and collectors.

I'll add this to the exception list as well


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thevampirictyrant



Joined: 05 Nov 2009
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i've always found this album to be pretty great

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Wraith



Joined: 02 Aug 2009
Posts: 2524

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with the OP.

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Dominance



Joined: 05 Jun 2011
Posts: 158

PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lifelover comes to mind. Guy is smart to agree with this. Razz
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